patience

I am currently 13 weeks pregnant.
My doctor has incredible ultrasound equipment that may let us see the gender of the baby on week 14 if, said baby, cooperates.
I have been counting the seconds!!
My appointment is supposed to be this Tuesday...
I couldn't think of a single thing that would make me miss this appointment.
Until...
We received a text at 4 in the morning yesterday that Sam's grandpa died.
The funeral will be held on Tuesday in Sandy, Utah.
We will not be able to keep our appointment.
Paying our respects to Sam's grandpa, and spending time with family is what matters right now.

In other news, Heidi is having a BOY!!! Congrats Heidi and Gordon!!!

I laugh every time

Between weeks 13-20ish most pregnant woman are a bit too big for regular clothes, and too small for maternity clothes. I have read several books and websites that suggest wearing your husbands clothes to save money. It cracks me up every time. I mean really, picturing little me in Sam's clothes, hilarious.
I am still not showing but I have this feeling one day I am going to wake up and there it will be, an unmistakeably pregnant belly. Until then I'll enjoy my regular clothes and try to refrain from raiding Sam's closet.

Remembering how I told Sam...

Before I got pregnant, I thought about how I would tell Sam when I found out. My friend KC put together a really cute way to tell her husband Ashton here and even video taped it. It really made me want to do something amazing to tell Sam he was about to be a father. I thought about it long and hard and decided I know myself well enough to know the very second I found out I was pregnant, I would be on the phone calling my sisters/mother/grandparents/brother/bffs/ect but of course Sam would have to be the first to know. So I realized that I would probably end up taking a pregnancy test, and having to wake Sam up to give him the best news of his life with nothing amazing planned. Which is almost what happened.
I was supposed to see the fertility doctor that day... I had an appointment to discuss what we would do if we weren't pregnant by summer. I was only 1 day late on my cycle and NEVER would have taken a pregnancy test except, as I said, I was supposed to see the fertility doctor in a few hours. So I took a test then I set it aside while I brushed my teeth. I looked down at the test and saw 2 lines, and completely freaked out. Luckily, Sam was already awake and I yelled for him to come quickly. He could probably tell by the frantic sound in my voice it was serious, so he came in and I told him, there are 2 lines, I've never seen 2 before. He said what do 2 lines mean? I told him it meant I was pregnant. As soon as I said it out loud I started to cry. Sam started to laugh, not in a funny haha way, but in that sweet way that showed he was really happy and excited.
Maybe you also want to know the first person we told... Well, I called My mother, no answer, I called Ambyr, no answer, so I decided to try Tyler's phone in hopes of finding my sister and Tyler answered. I asked if he was with Ambyr, he said no and he was actually in the middle of teaching seminary but wanted to make sure everything was okay (probably because I have never called him at 6:30am before) I said I was, and then he asked if I had just found out I was pregnant. I told him I was, he congratulated us and said he'd make sure Am called ASAP. So there it is, Tyler was the very first person to share our good news with us. Too funny.

Vote!!

I posted a poll on the left of my blog for you to vote for what you think we are going to have. Looks like right now, the boys have it which I would be completely thrilled about and maybe he would look like this:

(Sam's nephew Graham who resembles Sam, I'd have used an actual baby photo of Sam if I had one)

However, I can't help but wonder about having a muffin of my own that resembles this:

(Me age 1.5)

Mother's Day News

I feel like I owe an explanation. I shared a lot of personal information on Sam and I trying to get pregnant and never followed up. As it turned out, there wasn't a thing wrong with me. Nothing at all. My doctor misread a test result (gasp, doctor's aren't perfect) so we thought there was an issue with my thyroid, but there wasn't. I am fine... Which left me feeling a bit frustrated. I mean if there isn't an issue, then why wasn't I getting pregnant right? Well I went to the next level, prayer. I asked the Lord about it and He helped me to see that it was on His time line, not mine. So I became patient and my stress went away. I still think educating yourself on the subject is very important because knowledge is power however, at some point you have to know it really is out of our hands.
One morning in March I woke up, Sam was already awake. It is VERY rare that we are both awake and at home at the same time in the morning. I was 1 day "late" and even though I despise pregnancy tests (nothing more depressing than receiving a negative reading) I decided to take one. And it came back with TWO LINES!!
In other words,

I am pregnant!!!

Almost 3 months along. I am loving every second of it. I am so excited to become a mother and add on to our little family.
Happy Mother's day to all!! (Especially my Mom, Grandma, and Sister) love you very much!

My little man

I went home to Northern California this past weekend. It was so much fun. I get to a point where I miss my little kiddos (meaning Luke and Grace) so much that it hurts so I plan a trip and go see them.
Luke says the funniest things. I thought I might mention a few:
1. He calls the moles on my arm "little babies". He says, "Oh auntie are those your little babies?" I tried to explain what they really are but he likes his idea better.
2. One night Luke begged to stay up late to watch TV with me. I said fine but no Disney shows, we were going to watch my show. Ambyr came in a few minutes later and told Luke it was time for bed. Luke replied, "No mommy we're watching Gossip Grill".
3. Luke was sitting at the kitchen table with Ambyr the other day and must have noticed the table looked a little bare. He asked Ambyr, "Mommy, where are your flowers? Do I need to tell Daddy to get you some flowers?"
4. Ambyr and I were sitting in the living room and Luke came in with the broom and started 'sweeping' (the living room is carpeted). Ambyr said, "Hey Luke whatcha doing?" to which he replied, "I'm sweeping up all the cwap." (cwap=crap of course).
5. He loves to talking into the microphone on my phone and record his voice but all he says is "microphone microphone microphone!!" He laughs so hard when he listens to the playback.
6. He thinks the word toilet is hilarious and will often end a sentence with it just to make me laugh.
7. Ambyr picked Luke up from school and said "what did you do at school today?" "Mom!! I have a prize for you!!" referring to a craft he made at school.
8. Grace started crawling towards the driveway (Ambyr was there and was fully supervising) but Luke did not like the direction Grace was headed in and screamed, "Grace!!!!! Your gonna get killed!!!!!" He is so protective.
9. If he is sick or something he calls the illness the bad guys. He'll say, we gotta get these bad guys out of here.

Do you Skype?

My sweet sister Ambyr sent me a video camera for my computer. I have recently learned how to skype and I am a fan!! It makes you miss those far a way a teeny tiny bit less and almost makes you feel like you're actually with the ones you love. Now if only they could invent a way to smooch my littles through the computer I would be all set!