TMI

I try not to get super personal on my blog. My blog isn’t private so I try to be kind of careful, but recently I have been experiencing something other women could benefit from so I want to share something very personal.
Since July Sam and I have been trying to get pregnant. I naively thought, if we started trying in July, we’d be pregnant in August. August came, and I was extremely surprised I wasn’t pregnant. And, as August turned into September and then October I began to get concerned. I have always been “regular”. I never had any pain or anything that would cause me to suspect there would be any issues. I would check internet sites that would profess that each month a woman has a 20% chance of getting pregnant. I would hear all of my friends who didn’t get pregnant until trying for a year, so it seemed like I had to keep trying and hoping until my 12 months were up even though inside I felt like something must be wrong. On paper, I should have been pregnant right away (even my doctor says so). Luckily I have an older sister who cares a lot about me and sent me several books on the subject, one specifically (Dr. Marrs Fertility Book) that goes through EVERYTHING related to fertility. Before reading the book I felt a lot of pressure to “try” for an entire year before getting checked out by a physician. My primary care doctor told me to wait and my friends told me to wait but being impatient I couldn’t put it off any longer. If there was something wrong, I was anxious to know what it was. My thought, if there is something wrong, knowing now vs. 6 months from now is a better option. And after the first few pages of Dr. Marrs’ book, I called and made an appointment with my doctor. I then read as much of the book as I could to prep for the meeting. At the appointment I told my OB I wasn’t getting pregnant. He prescribed me all kinds of medication I didn’t think I’d need without asking me anything about my cycle, my history, my family history. Luckily, I’d read Dr. Marrs’ Fertility Book and knew what information the doctor needed to know to help my specific situation. I told him what I thought needed to be looked at, and he agreed to run the test I’d requested. I received a phone call 4 days later confirming my suspicion that something is in fact wrong, and there is in fact a way to treat it, which is where we are at today. I know what is wrong! It is the best feeling in the world. I am not sure how long it will be before the issue is corrected but knowing the issue is such a huge relief. I actually cried when the nurse told me, I cried because I was happy! Happy I knew. Knowing is the best feeling in the world. Honestly, unexplained infertility was my biggest fear. Now that I know what the problem is we can work on correcting it. Really what I want to accomplish by writing this post is to tell women reading this who may be in a similar situation that your fertility is up to you. You need to do your research! Let me qualify that by saying you need to read books by credible doctors. The internet is an easy place to look, but you never know where the information is coming from. Do not rely on advice from friends and family members; learn what will work for you. Loved ones have the best of intentions with their advice (and they do have LOTS of advice), but each woman is so
different that really what works for someone else, will not necessarily work for you. My problem is not yet solved but I am so happy I went to my doctor and had the right information. You have to be your own advocate. Doctors are busy; they have a lot of patients and usually have a very busy schedule (especially OBs who are delivering babies at any minute of the day). It is up to you to find out as much as you can.

Side note, if your friend/family member tells you they are having trouble getting pregnant, under NO circumstance should you take that opportunity to tell them how easy it was for you, or how fertile you are, or how all your husband has to do is look at you and you are impregnated. It is very inappropriate and makes women feel awful. If you are reading this and you can’t believe that anyone would say something so insensitive you should know almost every single woman I talked to who didn’t have issues getting pregnant said this to me. I have no idea why this would seem like the right thing to say but apparently a lot of women think it’s acceptable. It isn’t.